The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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