that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
