We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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