jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
