I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
