Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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