I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
