My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
