You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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