he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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