just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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