we're chasing vodka with high fives
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
