Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They are going to name an STD after you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
