He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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