brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
