i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize