she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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