totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
