Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize