A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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