Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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