I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
