I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
