I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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