OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just gift wrapped bread.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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