They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You took a bar mat shot.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
