do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
