He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
there was a trapeze. enough said
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize