absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I forgot how hot balto sounded
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
