he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
