I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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