The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
