I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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