i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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