I can't watch pbs sober anymore
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
This house was built for laser tag.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
