You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
