I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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