so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
