Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
