After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
