smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
