I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Pants are for mortals
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
