i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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