I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're too hungover to prance.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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