one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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