im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
