Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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