fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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