In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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