My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
