Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
