I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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