can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize