Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
