It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
