I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
