i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
