there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
