Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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