i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
