When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
