When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
