i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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