I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
