it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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