it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
