If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
